Our time in the city of debauchery draws to a close, as we have to head back to Bangkok. Before we leave, we stop by a snake oil farm, which literally and figuratively sells snake oil. Chinese medicine uses all the parts of a snake to allegedly heal damn near every disease. Did you know snake gall bladders can heal an injured huckle bone? What the hell is a huckle bone?
After the snake oil farm, we find ourselves back in Bangkok. The tour prepares to go on a long shopping trip to a couple places, including "Big C". In case you didn't know what "Big C" is, it's a giant shopping center that sells all sorts of food, clothes, housewares, and other random stuff. In the States, we like to call these places Super Wal-Mart. We once again split from the tour group.
We head over to Wat Pho, which is the Temple of the Reclining Buddha. The main statue is huge, roughly 150 long and 50 feet tall. The rest of the complex is also large and beautiful, though it looks much like any other temple.
We head over to MBK, which is a 7 story shopping mall. Before we enter, we encounter another bug cart. Kiet, Anny, and Joe partake in the festivities, while Amanda and I record for posterity. The menu for the day is crickets and grasshoppers. There were some good shots, though no reversals.
MBK is a massive complex with everything under the sun. An interesting part of the day was the video arcade. They had some pretty neat games that I've never seen before, including an arcade version of Guitar Hero, and a bad-ass dueling shooting game.
As if 7 floors of stores wasn't enough, we head back to the night market near Lumpini Stadium. We take two tuk-tuk's there, who decide it would be fun to race each other the whole way down. I think we were drifting through some of the corners. Our driver was laughing like a madman in a bad movie. Everything ended well though, with no limbs lost. I end up buying a pair of Muay Thai boxing shorts at the market, which will be put to good use later on in the night.
It's about 10pm by the time we make it back to the hotel. Since it was New Year's eve, we wanted to at least celebrate in some way. So we head to the 7-11 and buy 5 tall-boys of various Thai beers. At some point in the night, I come into the room wearing only my Muay Thai trunks. Joe joins in. I am buzzing from the 6% Thai beer, and fall asleep by about 1am.
The plan for the tour group is to head to a Lotus shopping center, then fly out back to Vietnam. We find out that, once again, this "shopping center" is like a Super Duper Wal-Mart. We skip it, and try to find our own way around town.
We read in Joe's travel book that there is a penis shrine in the city, called the Tuptim or Lingam Shrine. We begin our quest to take photos of ourselves defiling various penises. Along the way to the shrine, Joe finally gets to ride on the Sky Train, something that he hasn't stopped talking about since we got to Thailand. Kiet and I have both taken it before, and it is nothing more than an elevated train. At least Joe can say he rode it. After walking what seems like miles, we reach the location of the shrine: the Nai Lert Park. The book says it is located in the back corner of the Nai Lert Park. To our surprise, Nai Lert Park isn't a park at all...it's a hotel called the Nai Lert Park. And the shrine area is about 20x40 ft large, behind the parking lot, near the dumpsters. Very odd. Nevertheless, we take multiple pictures of ourselves defiling various penises, angering the penis goddess. I fully expect my wang to shrivel and fall off sometime in the near future. Even Amanda got in on the action, simulating fellatio on a wang that was about 1 foot thick. It was hot.
After we get our rocks off on the wooden penises, we try to find some local shopping. After walking about two miles, we finally find a decent local market in the Siam Center. Amanda buys a few articles of clothing. Then we head back to the Super Duper Wal-Mart to join the group, and fly back to Vietnam. A quick bus ride, plane ride, then taxi ride, and we are back to Anny's aunt's house. Here we meet up with Thit, who is Anny's friend from Las Vegas. She will be joining us for the remainder of the vacation.
It's not too late when we get back to the house, so we all decide to hit a Vietnamese night club. After busting out my blue jeans, short sleeved linen shirt, and sneakers, I'm ready to go. I never thought I could find a place where my dancing would be cool. In fact, I was way cooler than everyone else in the place, at least by American standards. As we enter and pay 150,000 dong to get in (which is a helluva lot of money, so these are all rich kids), we are greeted by about 20 security guards and staff. One guy leads us around to find a suitable table, and we end up upstairs. The first thing I notice is that there are about 10 security guards in an area about the size of a living room. Before I can say anything, a waiter comes to get our drinks. We order some Heineken, which the waiter brings, along with ice. I reach for the can (not bottle, mind you), but the waiter grabs it, and begins to pour it for me. Over ice. I guess that's how they roll, even though the can was cold. The waiters are so relentless, and the guards so overwhelming, that I begin to think we are in some sort of VIP section. But it turns out that's how all the night clubs are. I reach for my camera to take some pics, but the guards kindly stop me. Asians seem to be extremely adverse to allowing photos being taken. Maybe that explains why they take so many when they come to America.
As we look down below, I begin to notice a pattern with the kids there: buy a couple of bottles of cognac (no such thing as shots), and stand around. Even those who dare to dance do so in such a way that we all can't help but stare and laugh. They don't really move, just kinda sway. And at certain times during songs, people will start jumping like House of Pain is playing live. Some of the kids have glow sticks, but don't dance like a 14 year old girl on meth. They just kinda wave their arms lazily in the air, while their partner dances beneath, as if the glow sticks are dropping candy pinata style. When we decided to leave, random security guards will come up to us, grab our hands, smile, and wish us a happy new year.
Thus concludes our Thailand adventures.
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